New Year\'s Resolutions

I started my own business – teaching Krav Maga & Personal Training - because of fear. Many people don’t ever put a dream on the line and start a business because of fear. I know of people who want to quit their job and open a restaurant etc but are afraid to do so in case it fails. Their fear holds them back. I understand this: in any venture you undertake there is always the possibility of failure, as is the possibility of success. However, I have always found that the more things you are in charge of (the more things you take responsibility of – my fear was always having somebody else to be responsible for these things which is why I’ve never enjoyed working for someone else), the more your focus shifts to getting these things done, the less it concentrates on all the things that could go wrong. Taking charge of something immediately shifts your attention away from the obstacles to the goal that you want to achieve. This is the strength of New Year resolutions.

We all make New Year’s Resolutions, whether we admit them publicly or keep themselves to ourselves privately. The strength and power of these resolutions are that we rarely consider failure – the alternative to success. It always seems possible for us to achieve our goals however unrealistic they may be. This is the power of a New Year e.g. despite being sedentary for all of 2012 it seems feasible that we’ll be able to run 3 miles a day, every day, in 2013. This belief creates great power, both for success and for failure. If we don’t take charge we will fail.

For many people, joining a gym or starting a Krav Maga program etc is that first moment of taking charge – this is where they overcome their initial fear. We all know that physical activity “hurts” – we have all had to run, fall over and possibly get hit and we know what the consequences are. Engaging in a Krav Maga program means all of these things, amplified. We’re not stupid – we want to avoid them. There are always more reasons not to train than to train, whether you are a beginner or an old hand. I’m currently making  a big hit on my cardio performance, and there are always a million more reasons to not go to the gym than to go to it. However I want to achieve my goals and so I’m taking charge of them – I’m not giving myself the room or the reason to fail.

One of the most important ways to do this is to establish a routine. If I’m due to attend a training session every other day at a particular time – the more likely I am to do it. If I leave everything “fluid” and just have my mind open to the possibility of training I know it won’t happen – there are a million reasons why it won’t. If I take charge of it and say that I will (at a particular time and place etc), I have no reasons why it won’t. It really is this simple.

This same mental process works/goes hand in hand with dealing with violence. If you have a process/things to take charge off, it will prevent you going from both going into a state of shock/fear as well as questioning everything you have been trained to do e.g. put your hands up, talk to the person , control range etc. If you have something to do you have no excuse in not doing it. Life is always a choice. You can stand there hands down whilst somebody continues to scream and shout at you, you can sit on the couch and talk to yourself about how you need to get fit and lose weight etc, or you can take charge of yourself and give yourself actions (and activities) to complete. It is always better to be engaged in doing these things than simply thinking about them.

Starting my own business was never frightening and nerve racking because I was too busy engaged in doing it. This may seem simplistic however that was always the truth. I never thought about the alternatives but rather took control and became preoccupied with “doing” and “realizing”. One of the reasons I get such a kick about being in the U.S., is that I think this attitude is embodied in the culture. Baseball is the craziest game/idea on the planet. I watch kids continually miss the ball in practice – when learning, and even playing they miss more times than they hit, but they keep going – they are taking charge of what they are doing, so failure doesn’t enter into the process (they have one thing to concentrate on – hitting the ball). If only this attitude could be applied into the “adult” arena, then every New Year’s Resolution could be realized. Accepting the failures is part of taking charge, it’s part of the process. The hard session at the gym/studio, where it feels like you’re going to die, the technique you keep mucking up, it’s part of the process.

This is the year to take charge of your life, to concentrate on achieving something and becoming so focused on that, that failure never enters the equation. Become so focused on hitting the baseball that you forget the times you don’t and believe every opportunity represents a chance for you to do so – this is about taking charge. Whatever goal or aim you have for 2013, this is the way to achieve without letting fear get in the way.