Back to School

Sometimes blog posts are extremely personal. This is one of them. I am writing this whilst my son pretends that this is bedtime and he is getting ready to fall asleep, though really he is just reading a book and laughing, at the bad jokes in it (I have read parts of the book and the jokes are bad). Tomorrow I will take him to school, for the first day of a new term. We have a routine: I walk with him till we get to the school, and then he walks the length of the building on his own, till he enters. I didn't have a happy time at school early on, as I was bullied, so watching him make that walk alone is always somewhat personally painful. Tomorrow, I start doing the school run again (Summer Holidays are over). 

However I also understand that I am not the only one watching him, and that is one of the reasons I stay. Predatory individuals whether they are burglars or pedophiles are far more aware of our actions, behaviors and movements than we are e.g. a burglar working your neighborhood will be very aware of the times that your car is on your driveway and when it is not. Pedophiles, are similarly observant, noticing when you are texting on your phone instead of watching your child, and when you turn and walk away before you confirm your child has actually entered the school doors etc. These are things I have seen many parents do, and I understand it - we are all busy, hurried, and stressed, wanting to complete tasks, so that we can move on to the next one; the school run, is just one of these, and we want it over as quickly as  possible, so we can move on - I've been there. 

The school run, though is a statement about who you are and how your family operates. If anyone is watching my son with predatory interest, he knows there is someone who cares enough to make sure that their child enters the school when they could have left a bit earlier, entrusting their child's safety to the teachers and staff who patrol the front of the school. Pedophiles look for an in, and a big one of these is an indication that a parent is distracted or harried - the school run gives an indication of this (it doesn't have to be true, but rushing off after dropping your child off, sends this message to such observers). Believe me, I have a thousand things I need to do, before, during and after the school run however nobody needs to know this. 

I also often hear parents when they drop their children off, tell them to do what their teachers tell them. Pedophiles are attracted to industries and jobs that give them access to children e.g. schools, churches, sports teams etc. This doesn't mean we should believe every adult who is interested in working with children is a pedophile, rather we should recognize that pedophiles will be attracted to such professions and groups. Telling our kids to do what people in positions of responsibility say, sets a dangerous precedent i.e. they may do things that may not be in their best interest. If we instruct our children to what is wrong e.g. being touched in the places your bathing suit covers is wrong, we can communicate personal safety advice to our children without spooking them. 

Does your child have a good, this is what I did last summer essay to write. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't have to be spectacular, but does it contain stories that involve adults who were obviously involved and concerned about a child's safety e.g. will it be about an unsupervised sleepover, or about a family trip etc. Predatory individuals examine everything, when they are looking for potential victims, and any signal of disinterest, and/or lack of concern, will put your child on their radar.  

We can't make ours and our child's lives bullet proof, but we can present an image to any onlooker that show we care, and that we are involved in our children's lives. We can give them real experiences that they can recall with enjoyment, and not require others to fulfill such experiences for them. Kids are very understanding of parents situations etc. and will brag and boast about them, and the way they were involved in their upbringing/experiences at any given opportunity e.g. a 1 hour fishing trip, will be recalled and communicated as if it were a week long expedition etc. If you give your kids these experiences and promote yourself as an observant parent, there are few pedophiles will target them, or be able to groom them - simple parenting is as close to bullet proof child protection as you will get.