Backing Down & Backing Away

Although we can act as predators, we are by nature “prey” animals, that is, when we are confronted by a threat or danger, our default behavior is to run, and get to a safe place. This behavior is engrained in our DNA, and has been our species most successful survival strategy – it doesn’t always work at the individual level e.g. people have run away from danger into oncoming traffic etc. but for the species as a whole it has proven to be a pretty effective way of working i.e. if you’re not there it can’t hurt you.

When I look at my survival options, the first one I always consider is disengagement – and this is the one I teach to those who train with me. If there is the opportunity to back down and/or back away from danger this should be the first one that everybody considers; it may not appeal to the ego, but it is by far the safest option – if available – to take. There are no “fair” fights, as any assailant will have stacked the odds in their favor, either by having third parties with them, arming themselves with a weapon and/or choosing the time and the location of the assault. So to go into a confrontation thinking that your training puts the odds in your favor, is naive at best; if your training has given you the skills and attributes to level/even the odds, then you are in a good place. It is paramount to remember that the injustice of the situation is irrelevant, and the only thing that matters is your survival.

The Hebrew bible, says that it is, “better to be a live dog, than a dead lion.” I wonder how many martial arts and self-defense schools, would readily acknowledge, and promote such an idea? Yet, this is what those of us who teach and train reality based self-defense, should be acknowledging both to ourselves, and our students. And not just acknowledging but promoting. Sometimes the goal of our techniques, and approaches to violence, gets lost here. I remember asking a student at a seminar I was conducting, what the point of striking an assailant who was holding a knife was, and their answer was, “to punish them” i.e. to inflict pain as a punishment. With such a mentality/approach, there would never be a moment when disengagement would be an applicable option, because why leave them, when you could punish them some more? When we punch we want to be able to strike as hard as we can, and generate as much concussive force as possible, in order to take an assailant out of the fight, so that we can disengage safely – if we could have disengaged without going through this process, all the better.

There have been occasions when new students have questioned why I would hand over a wallet to an armed assailant, as if the point of learning how to deal with armed assailants was to learn how to hold on to $20, and a load of easily cancelled credit cards. I have even had people suggest that there is a monetary amount when they wouldn’t hand over their wallet to an armed assailant, possibly working of the basis that your technical expertise in dealing with such situations, increases in direct proportion to the amount of cash you are carrying. The safest option in such scenarios, is to give whoever it is what they want, putting the rights and wrongs of the offense aside. The reason you train, is when after getting what they want, they don’t disengage – that’s the time to fight.

Many people miss disengagement opportunities due to hesitation, because the majority of martial arts and self-defense training is all about engagement e.g. physically dealing with a threat or an attack. If you ever have the question pop into your head, “should I go?” the safest answer is almost always “yes”, and doesn’t really require anymore thought. If you see a group moving towards you, and your instinct is to go/run, then it is probably best to go – whatever your level of training.