Dads Dont Know

For those of you who haven’t been on social media for the past 48 hours, you probably haven’t heard of the Stanford sexual assault case, where student, Brock Turner, was found guilty on 3 counts of sexual assault, against a female student, and sentenced to a six-month imprisonment in a county jail, of which he may only end up serving three. The case has generated some controversy for a number of reasons, one of which is the leniency of the sentence (6 months is a fraction of the possible 14 years he could have served for his felonies) – compare this with the case of 16 year old Brian Banks who was wrongly convicted of rape, and consequently faced 41 years in jail for the allegation. He ended up with a 6-year sentence, of which he served 5 years and 2 months, only being released when his “victim” admitted that she’d made the story up. The difference between Banks and Turner? Banks was an underprivileged young black man, Turner a privileged young white man. Apparently, Turner coming from a white, privileged background, isn’t prepared for the realities of prison in a way that Banks was, and so should serve a lesser sentence.

If the judge’s veiled comments about Turner’s background and “unsuitability” for prison weren’t enough to spark controversy, Turner’s father wrote a letter, in which he pleaded for leniency on the sentence, arguing that his son had already received enough punishment through the emotional distress caused by the case, and that he shouldn’t face a custodial sentence based on what, in his words, only amounted to “20 minutes of action”. Brock Turner’s father, in his letter, told the judge that he knew what was best for his son, and that wasn’t prison, and that his son’s experience could serve as an education about promiscuity and drinking.

As I write this, I don’t even know where to begin. Both the judge and Turner’s father, have so far ignored the victim’s plight in all of this – ignoring a 14-page testimony that describes how the assault had scarred her, and taken her previous life away. It seems that the judge and Turner’s father see Brock Turner’s future as more important than hers, and whilst hers may have been taken away, it would be a travesty to take away his. As for the comments and remarks about this being an educational experience concerning promiscuity and drinking, Brock Turner’s victim was unconscious when he assaulted her, and so I can only assume that his father is referring to his son’s drinking and “promiscuity” – and that by promiscuity, he means having sex with someone against their will.

As a child who was bullied, I remember one occasion where myself and the ringleader of the group who bullied me, were sat down to try and resolve our differences. There were no differences, I was being bullied. All the teacher was concerned about was trying to get somewhere, where my bully (and his group) could be helped, so that they could stop continually assaulting me. The focus was on him, not me the victim, and it wasn’t about punishing him, but about reforming him. It seems that a similar mistake, and misdirection (on a much larger and more serious scale) is occurring here. Do I want to see Brock Turner be reformed, from being a sexual predator? Of course, if he served the 14 year sentence he should have, he’d be back out in society at some point, and it would be better for all if he was a non-predatory, rather than a predatory, individual. However, he should still be punished for his actions, and his victim given whatever sense of closure that they could take from this. My bullies were never properly punished for what they did, and because of this I was left with no trust in the educational system, or teachers in general to be able to deal with bullying. This verdict, may have caused Turner’s victim to lose all belief in society, the legal system, and everything in her world – that will take a lot to come back from, as well as from the assault itself. The judge in the case, along with Turner’s father, have done nothing to help his victim in her recovery.

The main point I would like to address in the case, are two comments that were made: one by the judge, and one by Brock Turner’s father, in his letter. The judge stated that he didn’t believe that Brock Turner was a risk to anyone, anymore, and Turner’s father stated that he “knew” his son. Both obviously know nothing about sexual predators, and if you are of the opinion that Brock Turner, is being punished for 20 minutes of madness or “action”, that doesn’t reflect who he is, you are wrong. All too often, those accused of rape and/or sexual assault, claim that they misread the signals that their victim was giving them, or that they were suddenly (and out of character) overcome by emotion, etc. They do this to try to get those who judge them to accept that they’re not really criminals, and shouldn’t be treated as such. They will make the argument, that it was just a “mistake”, and after all everybody makes mistakes, don’t they? This argument may convince a judge and/or a parent, but anyone who has either worked with sex-offenders and/or studied them will know that this isn’t true. Rape and sexual assault are born out of masturbatory fantasy. Those who commit sexual assaults, fantasize about them, and plan them. If Brock Turner’s father wants to reminisce about how his loving son used to cook meals for him, he may want to spend a moment thinking about what thoughts might have been going through his son’s head, as he day-dreamed, stirring the sauce, etc. Brock Turner’s mind contains dark fantasies. He may not have planned to find an unconscious woman on that night, but he’d had the fantasies about how he’d control and exert power over her, long before. These would not have been fantasies he’d have shared with his family, however this doesn’t make them less real or dangerous – and those fantasies haven’t gone away, nor are they likely to. If the judge in this case doesn’t think Brock Turner will rape or sexually assault somebody in the future, he’s out of touch with current research. There are a few categories of sexual predator who may only commit one assault, however Brock Turner doesn’t fit those profiles.

I don’t deny that Brock Turner may have been a star athlete, a great cook, a loving son. He may have done great works for charity, helped others, etc. He may have been the greatest guy to sit at a bar with and have a drink, a man who loved animals, etc. He may have been all of these things, and yet he was, and still is, a sexual predator. No sexual predator is going to announce themselves as such, and many are skilled at hiding who they are and what they do – Pedophiles are very skilled at appearing as upstanding members and often pillars of their society/community, without anyone knowing who they really are.

I would caution Brock Turner’s father that he does not know his son. He knows that side of him which he is presented with. He didn’t/doesn’t know him, or relate to him, as a sexual predator. I understand the fatherly desire to not want to accept that this is part of his child’s personality, however it is not safe for society to do this.

I would hope that Brock Turner’s sentence is changed, and that the Judge and the Father take some time to actually study and take advice about sexual predation, so that justice is served, the education that everyone needs be given, and most importantly so that his victim can gain some type of closure, and be able to start rebuilding her life. The pain and damage that Brock Turner caused can never be undone, however an appropriate sentence may help in the rebuilding of his victim’s world.