Finding Your Way

I’ve been practicing martial arts since I was 8 years old, and for as long as I can remember I have been interested and fascinated by them. My philosophy, even as a reality-based self-defense practitioner and instructor, remains a largely “martial arts” one: that we each have our own individual journey and way, and that nobody has the right to dictate to you that their way, has to be yours e.g. if you want to cross-train your Krav Maga with Karate, BJJ, Muay Thai, Judo, etc. that is your way, and nobody can tell you that you are wrong to do so. If you are with one Krav Maga organization, and want to train with an instructor from another, this is your way, and nobody can tell you that you shouldn’t. At the same time, if you want to only train with your instructor, and your organization, that is fine as well. Nobody can tell you that your way/journey is wrong. We are all different, and have different needs that we must meet. I have had students who wanted to compete in combat sports, because they had to know, that they were able to do so, and would be capable of being successful in that environment – I never tried to talk them out of this, nor would I confirm that it was necessary for them to do this as part of their self-defense training; they get to decide what is right for them. When you stand, facing a committed aggressor, in a real-life confrontation, who is looking to take you apart, the fewer doubts you have about your skills, abilities and competencies the better, and if competing/cross-training helps you remove some questions you have about this, who can criticize?

I don’t see it as a short-falling in the system/method/approach I teach, nor my abilities as an instructor, when someone leaves my school, rather I see it as part of that person’s journey, and whilst I may be able to explain to them from a technical perspective why the system I teach doesn’t require such cross-training/competing, I recognize that from their personal perspective it does. This idea of training being a journey, has largely been lost in the reality-based self-defense community, with some instructors arguing that their way/system is the only way, and anyone who follows a different path to them is at worst doomed, or at best wasting their time. Unfortunately, this system over individual approach, is detrimental to both a student’s progression and their ability to deal with real-life situations. When a student is confronted with a real-life situation, it is them, not the system, that is put on the line, and it is them, not the system, that will have to live with the consequences of their actions, regardless of whether they are successful in defending themselves and surviving the incident. Hopefully, their training has prepared them, and the techniques they know will improve their chances of dealing with the confrontation appropriately, but ultimately it is them, who will have to act.

I was once attacked by two people, one of whom had a knife, and attempted to shank me. Instead of making a 360 Block, I ended up grabbing the arm, blocking with my thumbs (not something I teach or recommend). It was something that I did in the moment – and there are times, due to the various components/factors in a situation, that the “wrong” thing will work, however this doesn’t mean it should be adopted as a universal solution. My background is in Judo, so I’m used to grabbing at things, and I have a pretty good grip. In that moment it was my “way” that saved me, not the system of Krav Maga that I’d learnt. Had I not had those years on the mat and those skills as a Judoka, maybe I wouldn’t have stopped the knife. If I hadn’t those experiences, maybe I would have made a 360-block. At the end of the day, nobody knows and nobody can say, but what is indisputable is that I – not a system - stopped the knife. When I explained what had happened to me to the head instructor of the Krav Maga association I was with at the time, to try and gain a better understanding of the way in which I’d reacted, I was told all the reasons why what I had done was wrong, and what I should have done instead (something I was already aware of as an instructor in that system). The attitude was that, the system was more important than what had occurred, and that in some way I’d disrespected the system by implementing a “different” solution to the one it taught and advocated. For the record, I still teach the solution that I was taught as an instructor in this Krav Maga system, and not to grab the knife arm with two hands, but it was clear to me that all of us training in the association were meant to only be cookie cutter replicas, of the “ideal” practitioner that the association aspired to. It is this rigidity that is dangerous for the individual, who must be allowed when necessary to respond as fits the situation, in that moment, rather than trying to fit the system to it.

The real danger in the promotion of the system over the individual, is that students can come to believe that simply turning up and practicing whatever system it is, is enough; in the same way that people believe that it is enough to turn up at the gym, move about the weight machines for 45 minutes, in order for them to get stronger and more powerful. The system, over the individual, approach means that those performing a gun disarm put their faith in the system and not their own abilities, something that will do them little good when dealing with a real-life scenario. When a student steps out onto the mats to train, it is their attitude, their work-rate, their effort and commitment which will yield the rewards; there are no medals or prizes for simply turning up, or selecting the most battle-tested, proven and effective system, known to man; it is the individual’s practice and application that will get it to work when crunch time arrives. I’ll put my money on a traditional Karateka, who trains with blood, sweat and tears and who has never trained a gun disarm before in their life to deal with such an armed assailant, than a Krav Maga practitioner (who knows an effective solution), from a legitimate system, who approaches their training from the perspective of, “it’s enough to just turn up”. Krav Maga should not be simply a system, it should be part of an individual’s journey; something that they make their “way”. It is something for them to adopt and personalize, not merely replicate.

This is the student’s responsibility, not the instructor’s. Sometimes as instructors we must lose a student, because they find their “way”, which doesn’t involve us – often from my experience they come back, not because they were “wrong” to leave, but because it was, what they needed to do at that time, and now that time has passed – sometimes, we must accept that they want to “extend” their training, by training in another system, or with another instructor, etc. It might be that the training they engage in, is unnecessary, or even undertaken mistakenly, but if it adds to their journey – as all experiences should – then it has served a purpose that is beyond our judgment.